A very personal letter to Major News Outlet:

Hey! How are you? Are you okay? I’m worried about you. I hope I’m not overreaching, but in the past few years, you’ve seemed… shaky. On edge. Desperate. Let’s be honest, you’ve always been a little weird and out there, but lately… something’s up. It’s like you stopped caring. Frankly, you look a little sloppy.

You used to be a little calmer, more reserved. Even when events were so mind-blowing, you showed some professionalism. Now, you jump to conclusions quite a bit. It’s like you’re paranoid or something. You used to be really interested in the economy, the law, education. Now you talk about the Kardashians a lot. Like, a lot. You used to travel quite a bit, too. Have you been to Africa lately? Syria? Iraq? I see you share a lot of photos and videos that others have taken, but you seem to spend a lot of time in LA. I think you should get out more.

Your friends bother me, too. Piers Morgan? When did that start? I didn’t even know you guys had anything in common. I guess that Joe Scarborough fellow is okay, but, you could do better. And Wolf! He’s not a bad guy, just… he’s not very bright. Not really your type.  Remember Christiane? She was great! So smart and knowledgable, such poise. I don’t see her enough. How is she? Do you still talk? Oh, and I heard what happened with Mr. Nye the other day. You guys used to be friends! Different circles, I know, but you would still get together and chat. Listen, you were rude, and you should apologize. That wasn’t like you! That wasn’t the you that I grew up with.

I’ve been meaning to say something. That mess with the Supreme Court was hard to watch. I really thought that would be your low point, but you followed that up with that Gotye nonsense just a few days later. iReports? User uploads? You barely know those people! That is dangerous and can lead to the type of thing you shouldn’t be wrapped up in. I think you know that. Just this morning, you kept showing a video from that horrible Colorado shooting. You know which video, I’m not sharing it. It was a bit gruesome and really didn’t provide anything substantial. You always steered clear of that when we were younger, but now you just dive into that nonsense. No class.

We haven’t had the strongest relationship. Maybe I don’t check in enough, or I’m not as honest with you as I should be. But honestly, you’re just not as dependable as you used to be. You’ve always been my annoying buddy, easy to poke fun at, sometimes just absolutely frustrating, but you were there when I needed you. When I needed intelligent, honest advice, you were there. I used to share your stories. “Did you hear what Major News Outlet said?” Now… I just can’t trust you. No one trusts you. “Better wait to hear what Jon says.” Jon? Nice guy, but… this guy?

You are less trustworthy than this guy.

We all change as we get older. I get that. But, look at you. You’re a mess. Please. Think about getting some help. It’ll be better for both of us. I just hate to see what could happen if you don’t turn this around.

I miss you,



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